Ten months and one week= My time as a Polarized Mom. Ten months and one week= The female caregiver to the most beautiful little boy in the world. Fourteen years= An educated, supported young woman living as a bipolar.
In medical terms, I suffer from bipolar depression. I swing very slowly. I was manic from the age of around 17 to 23. The week before I graduated from college my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and my swing to depression began. Since then, I have only visited the wild side for about 4 days. Bipolar depression was my life from the age of 23 to 30. A week before I turned 27, my mom lost her battle with cancer-solidifying by spiral of depression. Being bipolar determined my every action, my every reaction, my every choice...it controlled me like meth controls its addicts. However, on March 19, 2009, at the age of 30 I realized that I had to have some control of my disease...I found out I was going to be a mom.
Everyday since March 19, 2009, I have had to find a way to allow rationalization and determination beat the chemicals that long to control me. I would like to say that I win most of the time...I am sure hours have passed controlled by chemicals...I try to keep it to seconds. But it is not easy. A constant struggle exists within me-a stuggle that only I can truly understand-a struggle I largely face alone. I do have an amazing husband and some amazing friends that always support me. They remind me that I have the strength to be the most amazing mom in the world. To be as amazing as MY mom. This blog will tell of my struggles as a mom living with bipolar disease.
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